Monday, September 26, 2016

"Have You Noticed That Girls Are Nastier Lately?"

   Young men speak freely about almost any subject under the sun after you've built a relationship with them. Talking about the ladies is something they love to do. Several weeks ago a young man, with a smile in his face, asked me this question: "Have you noticed that girls are nastier lately?" I smiled and said, "Yes, I've seen a lot of angry ladies lately, and they seem to be getting angrier."
     When I told the young man that I know why young women are angry, he was all ears. I've been to courtrooms where young girls are charged with assaulting one another. This might lead you to believe that the anger is between the ladies, but that's only a symptom of a greater problem. Judges will sentence young people to anger management counseling as a band-aid that never heals deep wounds.
     Abuse is something that happens to one out of every three women.[1] If you study history or work with young people, you will know that violence against women keeps increasing. You can only beat somebody down for so long until they erupt like a volcano. Fatherlessness has been a contributing factor to the increasing number of young men who end up dead or in jail. Guys get girls pregnant and then show the ultimate disrespect by abandoning them.
     Putting young men in prison further solidifies the abandonment process. Poverty is related to fatherlessness and young women bear the physical and emotional weight of raising fatherless children. Behavior problems with children are magnified when there's only a Mom in the home. Suicide, along with drug and alcohol abuse are higher in homes without fathers.[2]
     Ladies are fed up with being treated like throw away trash. Teaching young men how to honor and respect young women has to be a priority. It is a priority at Youth With A Purpose. but we need help. Our numbers are growing. Each month we have several activities that serve guys and girls. We are targeting those who are 18-30 yrs. old because they can learn respect and then teach the younger boys and girls.
     There are may ways to get involved. Please call us if you're interested. 716-830-8240. Thanks for your time. Go do something nice for somebody. Jesus loves you and so do we.

[1] World Health Organization Violence Against Women
[2] Consequences of Fatherlessness

Thursday, September 8, 2016

He's In Jail & There's One Thing I Can't Do


          There is one thing that a Father cannot do. It might be the greatest desire of his heart, but God will never grant a Dad this one desire. It's a thorn that will never be removed. Mom's share this desire. Ministry Directors who act as parents to thousands of young people have this one desire enlarged immeasurably. This morning I sat face to face with a young man in jail and told him about the one thing I cannot do.
          Visiting young people in jail is one of the most exhausting and draining responsibilities of our ministry at Youth With A Purpose. My mood starts to sink when I think about my upcoming visit. Even some of the guards at the jail are depressed by their surroundings. For a Youth Director and Father-figure, a guy in jail represents several things. Failure to help somebody stay on the narrow path in the hood that leads away from incarceration is probably number one. But, there is a worse  and more depressing thought and it centers around prevention.
          As I sat across from the young man clad in his orange jumpsuit, my eyes started to tear up. He asked me how many children I had. I started giving him the names of all the young people who have become children to me and I named him. Here are the words that I said to him in that moment.
"As a Dad, there is one thing I cannot do no matter how much I desire it and ask God for it. He will not allow me to have it. My desire is to carry all of your pain so you don't have to. If I could take all of the rejection and abandonment in your life and carry it on my heart, I gladly would. The one thing that a Dad cannot do is remove your suffering. Your pain is your road."

       After a moment of silence, I spoke to the young man about a story in the Bible. Abraham as a very old man with a very old wife who was beyond child bearing age. God told Abe that he would have a child and in fact, many offspring would come through him. God made a promise to Abraham.  Time went by as Abe and his wife grew even older.
          Growing impatient, Sarah told her husband to go and have sex with her maid so he could at least have a child through her. Abe listened to his wife's voice borne of fleshly impulse and impregnated Hagar who subsequently gave birth to Ishmael. God had other plans and eventually the one too old to get pregnant gave birth to Isaac. If you study your Bible, you will find that there are parallels between Isaac and Christ. Ishmael was a son borne of impatience and fleshly impulse. Isaac was a son borne of God's promise.
          I told the young man that there were parallels between his story and Abraham's story. He was doing good things with his life; he was working several jobs and making good money. He worked hard and even paid attention to God. Suddenly the bottom dropped out. He lost his jobs and turned away from God's promise.
          God will test us to see what is on our hearts. As a Dad, I can't take the tests away no matter how painful. I can only pray. All I can do is demonstrate through my love; "I will never leave you or forsake you."

Thanks for your time. Go do something nice for somebody.
Jesus loves you and so do we.

Bob Kuebler is the Founder & Director of Youth With A Purpose. Bob has spent the last 15 yrs. learning about pain and perseverance from inner city young people and their families. Healing starts with love and encompasses compassion and empathy. Our mission at YWAP is to inspire inner city young people to develop as God's leaders who overcome the mindset of poverty and gang violence. Bob is the Author of five books, several magazine articles and blogs including The Bright Spot Report. He regularly shares with audiences about how God is redeeming our cities through young people.
Bob can be reached at 716-830-8240,

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

What Does A City Youth Director Pray About?

     Life in the city is vastly different from life in the country. There are more police, larger jails and overflowing cemeteries. Porn shops spring up like weeds. Drug dealers are mobile and set up shop on any street corner. Homeless folks hang out like pigeons under city bridges. Other folks stand on street corners with cardboard signs that say: "Please help, homeless, need money for food." Gangs recruit immature kids looking to feel wanted. Girls give their bodies away in return for shelter and food. Kids are kidnapped or run away into the arms of child traffickers. Gunshots take the lives of both the innocent and the wannabe innocents. Some kids sleep on a different couch every night, Sometimes they have to give themselves away to earn a spot on a couch.
     With an enormity of things to pray for, where would you begin? I'm just going to start and pour out my heart. I'm going to do it today.

Dear God,
I know you're listening. I know you feel. I know you care. I know you see all that's happening here in the city. Thank you for the lives of children. They're full of potential. Thank you for the potential that you have given all of us. Lord help us to protect that potential. Make me into a guy that children can believe in and trust. Cause me to always keep my word. Help me to teach them how much you love them. Help me to teach them how to be as compassionate as you are.

Today Father, 
give a boy the courage to say no to joining a gang.
Today Father,
 help a young girl to know a Father's love so she doesn't end up looking for love in a cheap sexual act.
Today Father,
 save the life of a child whose mother is headed for an abortion.
Today Father,
 give a mother and father the courage to work out their problems and save their family from the destruction of divorce.
Today Father, 
lock the bedroom door of a young girl who's pleading to let the night pass without someone forcing her to feel dirty.
Today Father,
 open the eyes of a teenager who thinks they have to steal to survive.
Today Father,
 bring the homeless into a shelter where love is taught as a way of life that provides sustenance.
Today Father,
 cause a drug dealer to flush their cache of drugs down the toilet.
Today Father,
 jam the gun before it fires and save the young man's life.
Today Father, 
open a cell door to a new beginning for a prisoner who has been chained to his past.
Today Father,
 bring fresh new people into the city who have your compassion to teach your style of leadership to children.
Today Father,
let the rejuvenating flow of your spirit bring new adrenalin to city youth leaders.
Today Father,
give city school teachers the strength to continue and love children who only know hate.
Today Father, 
infuse city leaders with your wisdom to make decisions based on love and compassion.
Today Father, 

Thursday, August 14, 2014


I loved Christian as one of my sons. He didn't deserve what was handed to him. Mentoring is an antidote to the disease of teenage murder. Christian was just beginning to grow through mentoring relationships when he died. I will keep him alive through our efforts to mentor life into as many young people as possible. Please join us if you have a desire to be a part of Mentor Force.

           The recent teenage murders in Buffalo have served to sprinkle some salt on old wounds. Kids have been being killed on the streets of Buffalo for many years. I believe Buffalo is on the verge of turning the corner on violence among our young people.
Our mentoring program began 10 years ago on 7th St on the Lower West Side. The Buffalo News used to call 7th St "World War III" because of all the shootings in our area. We lost our share of young guys. A heavy Police presence along with mentoring programs have changed this part of the City. Improvements are still needed and they continue.
We believe in building a Mentor Force to collaborate with the Police Force. Removing illegal guns is a good answer. A greater Police presence is a better answer. Building a Mentor Force is the best answer.

Whatever anybody can do to rally around the families of these young men - please go the extra mile and show them that they are valued.
          We need a Mentor Force in the streets and schools with folks who want to form relationships with young folks. Many well meaning people want to hit the streets and pray and that's good. Prayer comes in many ways. It's supposed to be unceasing and the only way to do that is to live it by showing love. Go play basketball, sing a rap song, take some kids camping, feed them a healthy meal, teach them how to start a business, go to their school events, let them see the ears on your heart. Going door to door means going heart to heart. 

Thanks for your time.
Go do something nice for somebody.
Christian's name was on my Father's Day card. We used to do anti-bullying assemblies with his sister Roxy and cousin Alex. They were making a big difference in kids lives. I believe they saved some lives in the process. He was killed while riding a bike. there are many guys in cemeteries who deserved better. Me need more mentors and less grave diggers.

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Ballers Breakfast

He wants to vote but doesn't have a FAcebook.
     Once upon a minute in a near away land there lived many children. They went to city schools where they found many good teachers. Sadly the teachers were forced to feed the children a fairly steady diet of tests. The children's poor hearts were burdened with the weights of life in their neighborhoods. 

     The sidewalks had cracks that many children fell through. They named the cracks poverty, segregation and violence. Then one day some mentors appeared, they became teammates with teachers and parents. They helped the children learn how to climb the mountains of life. 

     They told the children: "When life is hard; make diamonds. When life is a struggle; become a butterfly. When life is irritating; become a pearl! Whatsoever mountain you climb, climb it with all your might."

The children, their schools and a city 
were changed in the blink of an eye. 

Five organizations need your help. They have qualified to receive $25,000 that will help them mentor some young men who live in Buffalo.We need you to vote Ballers Breakfast into the top 40 on Facebook. Ballers Breakfast is a unique concept designed to feed the body while exercising the mind and body. We build healthy relationships that grow self sustainability and accountability. Will you please go and vote right now and then share Ballers Breakfast with your friends.

Thanks for your time.
We appreciate you.

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Hood Heredity

The wounds of children are a black eye on society.


          Most folks would say that "blood is thicker than water."  What they mean is that people who are blood relatives are closer than folks who are not related. They share something called heredity which is the passing of genes, physically and mentally to their birthed offspring.

          In a gang mentality, people become related through the "Hood Heredity." They make up their own definition of blood relations; they teach you how to share blood, shed blood, give blood, receive blood and spill blood. The Hood Heredity is passed on through the saggin' genes of Social Heredity.

          In an urban structure, Social Heredity is passed on through the traits and habits of fear as evidenced by blight, poverty, urban decay and violence. One might argue that these would be more related to Environmental Heredity and I would not dispute that. My point is that habits become ingrained generationally. That causes an environment that has become socially acceptable - in all walks of life.

          That brings up another disputable point: Why would I say that urban decay and violence are socially acceptable? Because nothing is done to change the fact that young people have been infected with a jail gene that causes "Cell Heredity." Over 3,000 children nationwide have been sentenced to life imprisonment without the possibility of parole. Many other children have been given free passes through the revolving door of recidivism. Rehabilitation is not a priority in houses of detention.

          When we examine the amount of money spent on intervention compared with money spent on prevention, our true priorities are revealed. Our priority is not creating a Heredity of Opportunity. Where we spend our money is a good indicator of what we truly value. The following information was taken from the "Cradle to Prison Pipeline Campaign:"
[Nationally, 1 in 3 Black and 1 in 6 Latino boys born in 2001 are at risk of imprisonment during their lifetime. While boys are five times as likely to be incarcerated as girls, there also is a significant number of girls in the juvenile justice system. This rate of incarceration is endangering children at younger and younger ages.
This is America's pipeline to prison — a trajectory that leads to marginalized lives, imprisonment and often premature death. Although the majority of fourth graders cannot read at grade level, states spend about three times as much money per prisoner as per public school pupil.]
- See more at: 

          All heredity starts as a seed somewhere. Heart Heredity will pass on genes of value that will help create healthy communities.
Thanks for your time. Go do something nice for somebody.